Needless to say, life has pretty much been lifing for your girl. My faith has been tested, emotions have been up & down, negative thoughts have won, and fear and rejection has over clouded my life. During times like this it is very easy to be angry at yourself, God, the universe and just life in general. It seemed every week presented a roadblock, and I eventually became stuck and hit rock bottom. It was very hard to pick myself back up, but I couldn't have done it without the people around me, as cliché as it sounds. But during that time, I talked to and cried to God and the people closest to me the most and knew that everything going on in my life was to restore my faith in him and make some much-needed moves, as I have been stagnant and became too comfortable with the bare minimum knowing my purpose is so much greater. For those who are experiencing the same thing, it can be difficult to do but I challenge you to shift your perspective. Instead of seeing things happening to you, see things as happening FOR you. There are always going to be things in life where you will have control over, and things you will not. This depiction (below) has honestly help me realize on where I should put my focus on, and we hope it helps you too. Growth and change are uncomfortable! But needed if you wish to elevate and have some type of development in your life. I will be the first to tell you it is so much easier said than done, but it can be accomplished. You will never have peace in a situation that was meant to mold you. So, cry it out if you need to, but after you wipe your tears make some much needed moves! We’re rooting for you. As always, subscribe to our blog to officially be a part of the clique and we hope to see you girlies back here soon!

We live in a day and age where many of the media that we can consume daily that contain a majority cast of women are often portrayed in such a hostile and harsh light upon our society; shows like Baddies portray women, especially women of color, as violent individuals who do nothing but party and downgrade each other. Reality competition shows like Love is Blind, where the majority of the male cast completely disrespects these women in such outrageous ways. Then, some of the women are portrayed as “helpless puppies” that just need affection from males. It is even as sudden as just popular female characters being portrayed in some sexual way despite the description of the character not fitting the way that they try to present the character to the audience. We often run out of inspirational media that gives us realistic but uplifting pictures of what being a woman is like in this society. Despite all the obstacles and things like that we have to go through, it is not beneficial to us mentally to be always consuming such harmful representations of what a woman should act like.  Not only that, but you also have to remember that our younger generation, who is constantly consuming these harmful forms of media, Is receiving a false reality of what adulthood is. I remember the day The Jersey Shore was a top-rated show. And a lot of people around my age group, when the show was popular, used to believe that being an adult meant being able to go to the beach and party and have no responsibilities growing up when Bad Girls Club was also a popular show, my friends always used to have “fights” to replicate what we saw on the show. These shows have entertaining qualities, but we must also remember that constantly consuming the same negative media daily will negatively impact how we view ourselves and the people around us. As a binge-watcher, I found some TV shows that provide our daily dose of entertaining television while giving us positive representation and uplifting female characters that we can relate to and grow with. __________________________________________________________________ Sex and the City  (1998-2004) Sex and the City is an American Romantic Comedy-Drama television series created by Darren Star on HBO. The show follows the lives of four 30/40s-year-old women who go through life struggles such as sexuality, social issues, friendship, and much more. All of the women in the show are professional businesswomen with different career paths and relationship statuses, and they get together and support each other through their struggles and accomplishments. This show accurately represents what friendship with females should be like. Despite the ups and downs with the connection between you and your friends, they still are there to help you out, and even when life has its ups and downs, you can always fall back on the people who love and care for you the most. You only see a few times throughout the shows running where the friends have fallen out; if you do, you see them healthily communicating their differences.  Despite this show being launched in the late '90s, I still feel as though a lot of the themes that they tackle in the show are very relevant today, and I find myself from time to time watching specific episodes back because it's not only entertaining but it's also more relatable as I got older. Living Single (1993 - 1998) Living Single is an American Television sitcom created by Yvette Lee Bowser on the FOX network. The show follows the lives of six New York City friends who share personal and professional experiences while living in Brooklyn. Like Sex and the City, the show shows a healthy representation of female friendship while being business professionals. The only difference between the two shows is that Living Single has some male characters mixed in the friend group, showing a healthy friendship between women and men. As I write this article, I can’t think of any modern show now where the show doesn’t add that storyline of “ omg, they secretly like each other the whole life; they are in a romantic relationship!” Not all male and female friendships are like that, and you can have a healthy connection with your male friend without thoughts of being together romantic even popping up. The Sex Lives of College Girls (2021 -Present) The sex lives of College Girls is an American teen comedy-drama created by Mindy Kaling and Justin Noble on HBO.  This show follows the lives of four 18-year-old freshmen roommates from different backgrounds, economically and ethnically, who became close during college. The show talks about the themes of college and adulthood hardships and struggles.  This would be a fantastic show to watch if you are in college. It shows an accurate representation of life in the dorms. While watching it, Reminiscing on my old college days when I lived in the dorms, I brainstormed with my roommates how to study for my final while not missing this college party tonight. It also talks about topics like sexuality, sexual assault, and many other things that people in college struggle with, and I feel like they tackled these topics very smartly so that you don't feel triggered. Still, at the same time, you're also educated on what to do if it happens to you or somebody around you. As well as it being very entertaining, you're going to find yourself watching this whole series in one day (trust me, I did) Insecure ( 2016- 2021) Insecure is an American comedy-drama television series Issa Rae and Larry Wilmore created. The show is about the black female experience from the perspective of two female protagonists, Issa and Molly, who have been best friends since college—the story follows two women in their late 20snavigatinge career and relationship experiences.  I have my opinions about the show, but I don’t want to accidentally spoil anything for the people who haven't seen the show, so I keep my comments to myself. Besides my personal opinion about when the characters on the show, the show does show an accurate representation of how to struggle and themes of adulthood, especially as an African-American woman. I feel like we live in a day and age with social media where we see a lot of people, significantly younger people, accomplish big goals, and it's broadcast daily that we feel as though, at a certain age, we should have our life together. The show truly represents how, despite age, it's okay not to have everything in order. It will not make you less than because you decide to change your career at a late age or maybe that relationship you wanted or have been with for a very long time starts to fall apart. It's okay to start now; I feel like that show shows a lot of themes, such as being open to new perspectives and change. It's refreshing to See the process of somebody realizing that they need to change in life and how it can initially be a sense of resistance, especially if we've been doing something for a very long time. I believe the show gives us a view of how that process looks and how it can be challenging at first, but it's still accomplishable if you stay consistent, and that's why I feel like I fall back when I show a lot as a comfort show to watch because it's very heartwarming. The bold Type ( 2017- 2021) The Bold Type is an American comedy-drama television series created by Sarah Watson. The Show follows the lives of three millennial women who work for a global women’s magazine. The show follows the young women who navigate their lives in the big city, including their career trajectories and romantic relationships. One of the themes that stands out for me about this show is the struggles of being a woman in a male-dominated field. I feel like that's a different type of struggle as women that we have to face because I feel like we have to work twice as hard when we are in these types of fields for us to receive the same amount of respect and honor that a man doesn’t work as hard as us will get.  The show shows the struggles that a woman has to go through from a career point of view while staying afloat with her struggles and her daily life. The themes of sexuality, relationships, and overall power struggles in a business setting are heavily discussed throughout the show. Suppose you're somebody who's just now starting your career. In that case, this will be an excellent show for you to start watching as it talks a lot about how to conduct yourself in emotionally draining professional settings and how to understand and Identify the beginning stages of experienced burnout. __________________________________________________________________ So log into your streaming account, use your ex’s, or find it online for free and start these shows together ( I know the links if you need them; just let me know😉 😭)

Hey girlies! Welcome back to the Girls Talk blog. As you all probably know, March is Women's History month, so for this post we’re gonna dedicate this post to the ladies. Like everybody else I love a good song, especially a song that boosts my confidence or puts me in a good mood. But, for this particular post I wanted to choose songs where they are uplifting women or talking about the reality's women face. So, we’re just gonna dissect some lyrics and discuss the deeper meaning: Beyonce- Run the world (Girls) “Boy, you know you love it How we smart enough to make these millions Strong enough to bear the children (children) Then get back to business” Now ya know I had to start it off with no other than Beyonce. Run the world was released during her fourth studio album “4” in 2011 and became an anthem for women. Now some will say and agree that men rule the world, but this song challenges those beliefs. A particular lyric that stood out to me (posted above) basically stated women don’t get a break, even when creating a new life. Pregnancy and being a mom is not an easy job (shout out to single mothers doing it with little to no help) and some women don’t have or get the luxury to just stay home to solely focus on their kids. A lot of women will return to work to continue on their grind, come home, be a wife/mom, and take care of other responsibilities while making all that look easy. So, women do in fact run the world due to how effortless we can make things look. Showing up no matter what is going on in our personal lives to be a wife, mother, daughter, sister, or whatever role you have to be that day. It’s not easy but we all make it look good! So, shout out to us. Doja Cat- Woman “They wanna pit us against each other when we succeedin' for no reasons They wanna see us end up like we Regina on Mean Girls” Next, we have Doja Cat. Another personal fav artist of mine. Woman was released on her album “Planet Her” in 2021. Now the whole song dropped some schemes, but this particular lyric (above) is so relevant to any situation. There has always been “there can only be one” mindset and this has created some to always see their peers as competition. What is the prize? Some will ask, and that just depends on what is getting “competed” for. Considering Doja is a rapper and works in the music industry, I immediately thought about the drama that takes place among the women regarding the entertainment industry. There has been speculation where some female rap artists admitted that labels wanted them to diss other female rappers for a deal, as this relates to R&B artists as well. There is room for many at the top, but some may not want you to see it that way. Doja ends with a reference to the film ‘Mean Girls’ where all the girls are cliqued up and don’t really interfere with each other spaces. With that being said Woman is about how much more powerful women can be if we teamed up and remain united. Don’t let society continue to persuade us to be divided. Christina Aguilera- Can’t hold us down (feat. Lil Kim) “Here's somethin' I just can't understand If a guy have three girls then he's the man He can even give her some head and sex her raw If a girl do the same, then she's a whore” Slut (n) - a woman who has sexual relationships with a lot of men without any emotional involvement. Is the definition according to Cambridge dictionary, and pretty much any dictionary. But why just a woman? What is the definition of a man who has sexual relationships with a lot of women without any emotional involvement? Can’t Hold Us down by Christina Aguilera was released in 2002 in her album “Stripped”. Almost 20 years later and this topic is still in discussion. This song is about the double standard women face regarding their sexual desires and people with misogynistic beliefs. Like really what is the difference between a woman and a man having multiple sex partners? Besides one receiving more backlash than the other, what is the actual distinction? And at the end of the day, is it anyone's business. Sexual liberation to me is about going against the norms on how women should maneuver pertaining to sex, it also gives women the right to abstain from anything sexual of her choice. Nonetheless, a woman should be comfortable to do or not do as she pleases regarding sex as a whole and not feel as if she is being condemned from outside views. Whitney Houston- I’m every woman “I'm every woman It's all in me Anything you want done baby I do it naturally” Now, this song is a gem and pretty much self-explanatory. Whitney Houston I’m Every Woman was re-released in 1993 for the soundtrack and the movie ‘The Bodyguard’. Now the song was originally sung by Chaka Khan and released in 1978. Regardless both women did an incredible job, and the message of the song still remains. I’m Every Woman talks about the natural magic a woman possesses. A woman's touch, a woman’s feminine energy, a woman’s way of making a house a home, etc. A woman really does have the Midas touch and a special human being. There are sooo many other songs that uplift, inspire or talk about the hardships of women, but these songs mean something to me, and I wanted to share. If you are a woman, a voice for women, or identity as a woman, I want to say Happy Women’s History month! Don’t forget to subscribe to our blog so you can officially be a part of our growing family. Love You all and as always finish March with a bang!

Have you ever wanted to go somewhere, but all your friends are busy that day? Are you and your friends having a hard time scheduling a date all of you guys are off? As we get older, life gets increasingly busy as the years go on. Some of your friends have kids, others have busy work schedules, and others' lives hit them hard and need their space. Whatever the reason is, it’s hard to feel like you’re missing out on life experiences because you have no one to go with. I believe COVID-19 and being quarantined shake many people’s perspectives on life. We learned how valuable this life is and how quickly everything can change. Sitting in quarantine made me realize how many experiences I had missed due to my shyness, and as I saw my early 20s rapidly turn to my mid/late 20s, I knew I needed to experience life more. This is how I started getting more comfortable with going to events by myself and some of the benefits of it. ------------------------------------------------- First, Be Ready to be uncomfortable at first. I started taking myself out on solo dates in local spots in my area to get comfortable with going to places solo. The first time I did, it was pretty nerve-wracking. ( Girl, I only stayed for 20 minutes and got my food to go) Nevertheless, I was still proud of myself for stepping outside my comfort zone. Make sure you always show yourself appreciation for taking the first step! The more consistent you are, the more comfortable you get. Just like if you want to achieve any physical health goal, you must stay consistent. The same can apply to any self-improvement goal you set for yourself. Consistency is key! I set a goal for myself to go as frequently as possible each month to get more comfortable. Sure enough, I felt more relaxed in my own company and stayed in these spaces longer each time. I also began to feel more confident with myself. (side note: I noticed I get more compliments when I am by myself than with others, so that can also help the self-esteem 😊) I started interacting with my environment once I got comfortable in my own company. One day, I decided to challenge myself and spark a conversation with some women next to me. Long story short, the best decision ever! Just because you are there alone doesn’t mean you have to have fun alone. When I went on my solo cruise for my birthday, I ended up sparking this random conversation with this girl on the boat. We discovered that we were the same age, and I ended up hanging out with her and the rest of her friends during my whole trip. Despite going there solo, I enjoyed the entire trip with a group, and it was the best trip I have ever had. There have been many occasions where I had interesting conversations during my solo outings. I had networked with some of them, some I spent time with during the outing, and others I had exchanged contact information with ( I got connections in California, DMV, New York, and PA, just from having conversations with random people). I met so many amazing people just by traveling solo. Now, I am not here telling you guys to randomly walk up to a stranger and tell your whole life story; please… don't do that. All I can say is trust your gut because you will know when it is the right time and person to start that communication with. I feel like I got something meaningful from every conversation I had during an outing. Sometimes, people will come up to you and spark up conversations. Be open to meeting new people and use discernment. You can’t experience life and find your soulmate if you just sit in the house waiting and watching all of the events you want to do pass you by. Step outside your comfort zone today and treat yourself to a date. ❤️

First off, welcome back! And second, HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH! We hope February has been treating all of you very well, but before this month comes to an end, I wanted to give a little recognition to the African American women who did everything before us. If you’re ‘just a girl’ like us (Siri play “Just a girl” by "No Doubt”), then you're more than likely interested in all the things pertaining to beauty, starting all the way up from hair care, down to finding the perfect color for your pedicure. In this post, we are going to go over a little history that you may have or may have not known about the contribution Black women have made towards the beauty and fashion industry. For starters, we have to begin with Madam C.J. Walker, who was born in 1867 and whose birth name was Sarah Breedlove. It is known that Madam C.J. Walker was the first African American self-made millionaire who customized a hair care line dedicated to other African American women. This resulted when Madam C.J. Walker herself came across issues dealing with her own hair. Like other women back then, Walker started to experience hair loss, which could’ve been due to stress, the harsh soaps that were used back then, and amongst other things. Madam C.J. Walker took the time to educate herself on what would be beneficial not only to her but other black women as well. Walker came up with a line of hair products that consisted of a hair grower, shampoo, glossine, and hot combs. Madam C.J. Walker took pride in the health of her hair and appearance and wanted to create products that made black women not only look but feel their best. Now, is this a safe space? (Most definitely is!) but growing up I wanted to be a playboy bunny. Remember this is a safe space so no judging! But after seeing Elle Woods in that iconic pink playboy bunny costume only fueled my desire even more. I mean the fitted corset, the sexy pantyhose, the innocent bunny ears, and the bowtie and cuffs oozed sex appeal. I knew I wanted to recreate this look one day, but what I didn’t know at first was that the playboy costume was created and designed by Zelda Wynn Valdes. Zelda Wynn Valdes was born in 1905 in Pennsylvania, and soon later Zelda would be the first African American designer to open her own boutique and the first African American owned business on Broadway in New York City. Zelda Wynn Valdes designed outfits for many influential black women like Eartha Kitt, Dorthy Danridge, and Josephine Baker to just name a few. During the 1960’s Zelda was commissioned by Hugh Heifner the founder of the Playboy magazine to create a uniform for the waitresses, thus the playboy bunny attire was born. Zelda became a trailblazer and made her pieces very fitted to show each woman unique curves and body type and wanted the women wearing her designs to feel confident and beautiful. Last, but definitely not least we have to acknowledge Fashion Fair, founded in 1973 by Eunice Johnson. Eunice Johnson was born in 1916 in Alabama. Now, I know some of you are probably familiar with Ebony magazine, if not, Ebony magazine was founded by Eunice Johnson's husband John H. Jonhson, in which Eunice came up with naming the magazine ‘Ebony’ after the dark wood. With an already known name and with two successful magazines under her belt, Eunice assisted in producing a fashion show to fund money for a hospital in New Orleans. Many beautiful African American models graced the runway showcasing many different designers. However, Eunice noticed how difficult it was to match the makeup towards the darker models and how challenging it was to even find makeup that would even compliment their skin. Eunice admitted that she typically had to mix other makeup products together to match the various skin tones the models presented, as the makeup was pretty uniform. With experiencing these mishaps  Eunice had the idea to start Fashion Fair Cosmetics, where African American women can have the experience of buying makeup cosmetics that will be flattering and suitable for their skin tone. Fashion Fair Cosmetics began to set the trend and the tone for all makeup brands to follow suit and be more inclusive. Sidenote when doing research about Fashion Fair it reminded me about Fenty Beauty by Rihanna (Sis where's the album??). When Fenty was first released and showcased the various amounts of shades and proved how inclusive makeup brands could be, other makeup brands started scrambling! Nonetheless, there are so many more black women that have done a lot for the beauty and fashion community and left so many doors open for women who look like them to follow suit. So, for that we thank them, and we thank those who have a vision and have ideas who want to contribute so much more to the industry. Again, HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH! And finish February with a bang!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the girlies across the world! Whether you’re spending this holiday of love with your sweetie, friends, family, or yourself, I have compiled a list of fragrances that will fit whatever vibe you are going for. When Valentine’s Day comes to mind, I think of something sweet, yummy, and…. edible! Below, I compiled a list of fragrances from different price ranges that remind me of something delicious: Friendly reminder: you do not have to have a night out to use your good or expensive perfume. Whether you’re snuggled up on the couch with your comfort snacks and favorite V-day movie or having a night out, wear something that makes you feel confident and loved. Happy Valentine’s Day! 💓

Ugh! It's Valentine's Day, the Day all single people hate the most. The days before this holiday show the same discourse on our social medias. One of the discourses I hate is that single people must be miserable on this Day, but why?! Have we forgotten what the main reason this holiday was created for? The origin story of Valentine's Day is pretty twisted ( Google it; I promise you, you will be surprised), but I am not here to do an educational lesson on this Day. Valentine's Day was created to share and receive love unapologetically, so why can we provide that love for ourselves? It's great to receive affection and gifts from someone outside ourselves, but why can't we do that ourselves? One of the greatest loves of all we tend to overlook is the love we have for ourselves. In committed relationships, most people love their partners more than they love themselves; that is how a toxic relationship is created. Now, you can't sleep and eat since the connection ended because your "happiness" is gone. Your source of happiness should always come from within, so when people enter and exit our lives ( which is typical in adulthood), these people can never take away something you have already had. Even if you are single, taken, or in a situationship, make sure you provide that same love to yourself that you seek with your current or future partner(s). But Kiyah, how do I start the journey to improve my love for myself?! Well, here's some tips I learned so far: Treat yourself to a nice outing as much as you can. I have been taking myself out on solo dates a lot in the last year, especially after my breakup a year ago. Not only am I enjoying activities that I like, but I am also setting a standard for myself on how I want to be treated in my future relationships. Why would I have accepted a first date at your house when I take myself to an excellent restaurant and/or spa date at least once a month?! Plus, it's many benefits of doing solo dates/traveling that we don't know about ( I can write an entire post on them alone) It's not a flex to be the one all your exes go back to. Listen, I was one of those females whose ego used to be stroked when I would get a message from one of my past connections saying the "Fboy" default apology lines. Falling for the lies of saying they are sorry and missing specific memories, now you are back in the toxic cycle again because they told you how much they changed while doing the same things that caused you to separate in the first place. If people show you their true colors the first time, believe them because many people are set in their ways, and no amount of love you provide them will make them change unless THEY WANT TO CHANGE. So please, don't go back to people who didn't see your value the first time because it's people out there will see it the second they meet you. Take more pictures of yourself. Sweetheart, you are so beautiful. Why don't you take photos of yourself? Embrace yourself more. Put on that outfit, get that hairstyle/color you always wanted, do that makeup look you've been procrastinating on, and take a picture. Presenting yourself in ways that make you feel confident is a good tip to improve your love for self because, as I always tell my clients, "If you look good, you feel good." Trust me, that confidence will show in your pictures and real life. Last but not least, F**K what other people think! Remember, this is your life; people are just living it, so do whatever makes you happy. The more you do things for yourself, the more you set that standard for yourself and others on how you should be treated in all your connections. So live your life to the fullest and watch how life treats you with care and nurture with and without a significant other. So, what did we learn about not being "miserable" on a day like this? Treat yourself with love and find the positives of the Day. Take yourself to do something you enjoy. Get your favorite meal. Dance in your room to your favorite playlist. Make sure you give yourself the love you deserve this holiday because you can do that, single or not.